Dumping my OB/GYN

At this point it has become clear that I've made a mistake in how I handled choosing an OB. Although all the books recommend it, I didn't go through the whole process of interviewing OBs and finding one that was on the same page as me. I just took the first one that had an open spot. I figured they couldn't really be all that different, and my choices of OB clinics are limited by insurance stuff, anyway.

I've met this person about 6 times now. I thought she was kind of in a hurry and a little overly "clinical" with her manner, but nice enough. I also hadn't really tried to ask any questions or had any major concerns. My pregnancy has been text-book normal and uncomplicated so far, so I didn't think much of it. At my appointment last week, I brought up when she thought we should talk about my birth plan. Right away it seemed like she had no interest in talking about anything of the sort. She said that they didn't usually set aside a specific time to discuss such things and there was no formal way that it worked. I said that was OK, and I hadn't actually written one yet. I then mentioned that my major desires for my birth were that I'd like to try and avoid aggressive induction measures (like pitocin) and I'd like to also avoid epidural pain medication, although I was open to other things. I also added, that the main reason for wanting to avoid these things was to reduce my chances of needing a c-section. She looked bored and exasperated and kept repeating that I could write down what I wanted but there are certain things that they have to do and she wasn't going to sign any birth plan that I brought in. She then suggested, that if I didn't want a lot of unnecessary interventions, I should labor at home for as long as possible, Because  - get this -  "This isn't a hotel"

This whole conversation couldn't have lasted more than 3 minutes, and ended with me sitting there staring at her with my mouth open. NOT A HOTEL??? Are you kidding me???  At this point, I'm thinking that I don't want this woman anywhere near my laboring uterus.

I guess the implication is that if you aren't going to submit to being pumped full of drugs while you are in labor you might as well just be hanging out in your comfy hotel room. What is she talking about? Oh, she also graciously explained to me that at the hospital there was typically more interventions than most people want or need, but these things are done for medical liability reasons. It's just appalling. The primary incentives of an OB is to get people in and out as quickly as possible, while keeping lawsuits at a minimum. Only after those conditions are met does the concern switch to making sure the babies and moms are healthy. Or at least this seemed to be the attitude of this particular OB, whom I have the misfortune of having to deal with.

I understand that there are policies that need to be followed at a hospital, like fetal monitoring and an IV during delivery. I like the idea of monitoring the baby, and having drugs and modern medicine and surgery immediately available. That's why we're going to the hospital (OK. We're also going because this is the only option that is covered by insurance). But I thought that I would be treated like an educated adult and giving birth at the hospital would give me more options and make me feel safer. I feel like this OB not only does not care about what my desires are, she finds the fact that I have opinions about my childbirth.... annoying. I don't trust that she considers me an active participant in the birth of this baby. I definitely don't trust her to do the healthiest thing for me and my baby.

That's where it ended. I called the office and I'm trying to switch to someone else. Unfortunately, it's sort of difficult to switch OBs this late in a pregnancy and there aren't too many other ones available. I'm also assuming that her attitude is atypical. I could be wrong. Either way, I'm really hoping that it works out I can find someone else.

Interestingly, I found out from the office nurse that the OB I have now is leaving the field of obstetrics in October. I'd probably be her last birth. Maybe this explains her dismissive attitude?